A Wanted Freedom
by alyeth
Summary: Kenshin has finally gotten out of the grasp of the woman once haunting him, but will these new friends of his really replace what even she couldn't? Has he really atoned for everything... is he ready to wander once more?
1. Default Chapter

Ok, hello everyone, it's been SO long since I've had a chance to get on here and write some fanfics x3. So I'm back, and more than prepared to write some more. ., I may mess around with this, so yes.

No, unfortunately, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. None of its characters belong to my grasp, but eh, I can still imagine that it is so ; Let's give this a shot!

…….......…….………….  
A Wanted Freedom

Darkness, telling so much through the grasps and hardships of others, not the wisest choice to choose over some. Consuming hungriness of the souls, it will devour you, along with the wisps of the wind cascading down onto your wet soaking body, deceasing into the Earth, awaiting its death arrival. Being a killer you are aware of this concept, aware of the consequences if you overuse this value, this principle, of life. Your sword is your only expression—your only escape—from the outside world. From reality, facing your fears and hidden nightmares locked inside your weapon. Soaking yourself with the stench of men and carcass you are aware of this, you know the law, and accept it as your fate to protect your country, your family, even your beloveds.

Sometimes giving up the best thing can mean the worst possible outcome—whether meant for good or evil. Deciding fate through your sword, sealing someone's fate, is your job. You're fulfillment as a person. Feelings don't come into this process, for it would imbalance and catastrophe occurs through your mind, racking everything you lived up to, weakening your already pitiful soul. This is the concept, the life, of a hitokiri if they decide so. This is the path—the life—you choose if you walk this path of blood, the path of 'righteousness' for your people, this is what you sacrifice. Your life, your morals, even the most precious items in your life whist away, only the taste of blood satisfying your needs. Saki is the drink of men, over abuse it and it will not taste for you, will not entice your taste buds, intermingling the sensation of blood in everything you do, because that is what you choose to fulfill yourself as a person. As an assassin. This is the prophecy of life. Of a hitokiri.

With an induced sigh and a rippling tear from his throat, the present rurouni Himura Kenshin looked up from his vigorous attempts to eliminate these painful memories—thoughts—running his life and his mind. It had in fact been a long time since that threatening day, many days had moved on since that one, blurring his focus and forwarding endurance on his mental security, which was limited to start with.

Her painful cry, the knife that tore his skin and still presently haunts him, curses him, is his atonement. These words and sublime messages always seldom cross his mind, though when they do it bothers him so. His violet orbs turn an uncomfortable pale blue, often making him appear sickened or frail perhaps. Just the thought of her smile, anything about her often depressed him, though he only thought of her when he knew the opportune moment.

Though he despised doing this, he somehow felt obliged to do so in her honor as his wife, since he still hasn't strung up enough confidence or practical sense or peace with himself to even go and look at the grave she resides in, her body wilting away like the cherry blossoms, with the cherry blossoms, since winter was in fact approaching.

He had hesitated in his work, not realizing the fact that his eyes were forwarded to the frost collecting outside, which was such a blissful wonderland of white nothingness. It reminded him of her so, and it certainly dropped his spirits of high hopes for the forgetful winter, as he put it.

Seeing Kaoru's lithe figure and Yahiko and Sano's attempt at making warped snow angels, it snapped him out of his skeptical manner in finishing off the dishes they ate earlier. He blamed himself of course, because the longer you stall with getting it done, the more stretched time where you are left scrubbing vigorously for hours on end. He learned that the difficult way, while, of course, he lived in that humble abode.

His flared red hair—that hair that was always so ratty but classical in it's odd way—was pulled back carelessly into a low ponytail, making his face and arms look ruefully pale. Maybe it was the winter snow, cascading into the ground and whitening his complexion, or perhaps, just the thought of the dead could pale your skin on end.

Overall, there were many things to think about—how he would atone for the sins. Was he really finished with his duties in this Dojo? Maybe, he was thinking of her, because perhaps it was time to wander again? He got those urges, those warnings that told him to wander once more so he wouldn't attach himself to these groups of people. But it was already too late.

He attached himself long before he even knew it to be so late, and he was paying for it now. His regret for leaving, for finally giving up everything, to live the life he deserved. In darkness. To seek freedom from the bustling streets of Tokyo, to find his inner peace, because it obviously wasn't being found here. That was a rurouni's duty, to find it, and lounging here burdening the people around him certainly wasn't going to assist in his atonement.

He knew it was finally time, time to move on. Time to wander again.

Thank you guys so much for reading this, and if you Read and Review, I'll get back to you as soon as I can Just please give me some inspiration to keep going, I really need some advice to know where to go from here. 3


	2. Time

Hey guys thanks for waiting for the next chapter, it's been a long time. I decided to do this at almost two in the morning, so bear with me. Here you go, Chapter two, of a Wanted Freedom. Also! There is going to be some romance in this chapter so. Nothing ridiculous, but. You know, just warning you ahead. If you don't like any kind of sexual content in your stories, you might want to leave now. 

Italics is thoughts

/Battousai's thoughts/  
:Rurouni's thoughts:

Yeah, you're getting some schizo action, but that just makes it all the better, right?

* * *

**Chapter two - Time**

So it was finally to be done. Himura Kenshin was to leave the Dojo in the morning, no quesions asked or hesitations made. He began packing some of his things slyly when a certain tanuki decides to walk in. "Kenshin.." She looked at the little bag he held and the items he was placing into them. "What are you doing, Kenshin?" Almost all the blood in her face drained and left a blank slate of white, eyes stiff and body to match. The rurouni threw the bag into the drawer and laughed. "Oro? Kaoru-dono, uum... this one is doing nothing! Nothing of sorts, de gozaru."

How could he develop the guts to tell her? Tell her that finally, the odd ball red rurouni was to finally detach himself from the Kamiya Dojo, that somehow, he was to wander again. He didn't know why this plea was grasping on him so suddenly, but he trusted his instincts, since they usually led him somewhere right. He couldn't tell her... not yet. Maybe it was better if no one knew this time, because look at what he had done to her the last time he'd attempted to wander. He gave that corky smile of his, violet eyes portraying innocence and pure hidden charm.

_/You know you're going to have to tell her, ahou! A voice cursed rather heartless toned and almost hissed./_

_:Sessha knows, but this one just can't do it right now.. this one can't see her happiness drain again...:_

_/Then why are you leaving in the first place/_

_:You know more than anyone why, de gozaru ka:_

_/Do I/_

The Rurouni gave a mental sigh. Why was this other part of him so incredibly irritating and difficult? And why did he always have to know everything, but ask questions, and KNOW the answers to them? This was making his head throb just thinking of how this other side of him knew everything. But really, this was the foundation of Kenshin, how he came to be this loving rurouni today. But everyone has their sinister thoughts and mental insults, right? So no big deal right?

Well, depends on how you look at it. If you think it's normal for Kenshin to have two parts to him, well good for you. But let's just not go into that now, because other matters are to be meddled with in this situation. Kaoru just smiles at him and looks off. "I've grown really attached to you, Kenshin." She wrapped her arms around her side and continued. "Something in me just wants to be with you so badly, but I feel like you're pushing me away. What am I supposed to do? Just tell me..." Kaoru gracefully (For once!) leaned back into Kenshin, him then wrapping his arms around her.

_/Great, make her feel even worse when you leave/_

_:.. This one cannot just... push her away anymore. Sessha... loves her.:_

_/Even better! Putting yourself in this trap as I had done... and look how I ended up! You know this is the worst thing to do, Rurouni. So get yourself out of it./_

Warm violet hues looked down at the woman that lay in his arms. "Sessha doesn't want to push you away, Kaoru-dono. This one doesn't, de gozaru." She looked up at him, eyes entranced, like this was almost a dream, one of many. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him, tears coming from her eyes. They then fell onto the bed, Handy, right? and she began pulling his yukata off, the rurouni completely unprepared for the incident.

He returned the kiss, and instead of her being on top of him, it was vice versa. He flipped on top and in a minutes time, lone behold, Kaoru's work outfit was thrown across the floor. He then pulled at the ribbon in Kaoru's hair and it let free, as well as her indigo tresses. She smiled a playful yet sly smile, and pulled at his ponytail, letting the tie that held it fly free. This session had gone on for a bit, the two teasing each other and laughing, hair intermingled with each other, when Kaoru got a bit skeptical.

"I-- I've never done this before, Kenshin. But I trust you, that you know exactly how to handle me." He smiled at her. "This one just wants to make sure you are sure you want to do this..." His hands slid to her hips, and she shivered in delight. "No one else but you, Kenshin." And thus, a night of wonderful. (Sorry, I'm not the best at sex scenes xD You probably already figured that out though)

* * *

**-Next Morning-**

Kenshin lay next to Kaoru, twisting her hair as he listened to her soft breaths and watched her petite body rise and fall from it. What had he just done? Was it really reality? Or just a dream? Because if it was, that was one twisted dream.

_/Rurouni.../_

_/So what, you're just going to have sex with her and leave/_

_:This one has no other choice. Sessha planned to leave today...:_

_/Are you crazy/_

_:Perhaps this one is, considering you are inSessha's mind.:_

_/Is that a threat/_

He blocked him out. Or tried to. He had to leave, there was no other choice. Kenshin arose, and gathered his clothes together and put them on. He looked at Kaoru once more, eyes closed and hair scattered every which way, though still neat and elegant in its own way. But, as much as he felt devotion to her, it was time to wander again. However long he may be gone, he knew somehow, that he would come back. And she would just have to understand it.

Slowly, he walked into his room, for the sun had not risen yet, though it's orange yellow rays were visible in the far distance. Kenshin gathered what little belongings he owned Probably his sakabatou and maybe some clothes and peeked into Kaoru's room one last time. He stroked her hair, whispering "You've taught this one how to love again, and that is a blessing all on its own. You've done so much for Sessha, and this is how this one repays you. Sessha just hopes you understand one day, though this one doubts it. Sessha will come back, whether it be a day or two years, de gozaru."

And with that, Himura Kenshin, resident of the Kamiya Dojo for almost five years, finally set out on another journey. The only thing he left was breakfast he'd prepared before he left. No reason in saying goodbye, or else they'd go looking for him again. Better set out before someone wakes up. Jin-e, Saitou, Shishio, everything they'd gone through, he would finally set off for something else. To attain for his sins, because being happy in his opinion was not atoning for the people he killed so many years ago.

* * *

**-Hours Later-**

A cranky Kaoru awakens, and looks around, not really aware of anything. Sunlight was pouring into the room, and she rubbed her eyes for a minute or so. Looking to her side, she realized Kenshin wasn't next to her. _Probably cooking breakfast_, she thought, it was what he did every morning. She threw her clothes back on and brushed her hair through and tied it in her regular ponytail. Walking out into the kitchen she saw an aloof Yahiko.

"What's wrong, Yahiko?" She sighed, yawning and walking into the kitchen, expecting Kenshin of course. "I don't know, Kaoru have you seen Kenshin anywhere?" She lifted her eyebrow, obviously quickly suspicious about the "missing" Kenshin.

"Why? He was just here last night, I talked to him before I went to bed. He's probably out either washing clothes or hanging them to dry. I'll go check." A confused Kaoru walked outside, looked at the laundry barrel, and realized, no Kenshin. Everywhere she thought Kenshin might be, he was nowhere to be found.

This boggled her. He wouldn't just run off... would he? Maybe he went to Megumi's? She doubted it, Kenshin wouldn't go anywhere without telling **someone**. But there WAS breakfast on the counter, so he had to be here hours earlier. He'd probably turn up, maybe a trip to the market? Kaoru hoped.

But - as the day passed - there certainly was no sign of Kenshin, so she ended up asking Megumi and Sano, but no sign. Eventually after a couple of days she thought he just went and wandered off again - but why RIGHT after their bonding?

She had no clue, maybe he had stayed here all this time just to get her and leave. But she knew him better than that, of course not. For a day or two straight she would cry in her room, wondering why he left her so suddenly. But Yahiko wouldn't let her stay, and so she would have to train him, letting her anger out in her sword.

She nearly broke two bokkens from her anger and despair, and oddly enough, Yahiko hadn't been irritating her as much.

* * *

**-A Week Later-**

Yahiko heard Kaoru near the bathroom, and it didn't sound good. He fast walked over there, and then, he saw Kaoru throwing up. "Kaoru, what's wrong? You probably made yourself sick over him being gone." Kaoru had her hands grabbed tightly around the toilet seat, and she lifted her head up weakly. "No... Yahiko I'm fine, it's just morning sickness, is all. It was probably my cooking, something I ate, it's no big..." But she couldn't finish, because she went into another throw up fit.

"That's it, I'm getting Megumi. Stay there." He sprinted over to Megumi, panting as he pushed open the clinic door. A startled Megumi looked up as Yahiko walked right in to her office. "What's the matter, Yahiko? Are you hurt?" He shook his head. "No, it's Kaoru, she's really sick. She's throwing up and she's just been acting depressed." The kitsune looked down. Both of them knew why, but you could never be on the safe side.

Sure enough, Megumi was over there at the Dojo, checking Kaoru out to see what was wrong with her. "What are your symptoms, Kaoru?" "I've just been throwing up, felt really weak, and have had a strange craving for certain foods." Megumi looked over at Yahiko, and beckoned him out. He rolled his eyes and walked out. "Your cycle regular?" She lifted her eyebrow, seeing as if she knew something. "...Come to think of it, I was due about a week ago, I believe."

She shook her head. "Well Kaoru, it's as simple as this. You're pregnant."

**"WHAT?"**

* * *

End of Chapter 2 Yeah, it was kind of obvious toward the end, but hey. It just makes the story all that interesting right? Well, read and review, and I'll keep updating soon! 3

No, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters... xP


End file.
